First up: thankyou all so much for your texts, calls, cards and hilarious answerphone messages over the weekend. I had an excellent birthday, and Jake the Naughty iPod has already shown his true colours, insisting on playing Busted, a lot, all weekend. I heart him, lots.

(As an illustration of my other gifts, they included a little guy who nods when the sun shines on him, and an alarm clock that flashes colours when you hit it. That's right; I have the mental age of a six year old, and do not care in the slightest. Because you smell of bum.)

And...what's that, you have to scroll down now? Oh yes. A redesign. Like the fucking buses. See, I'd argue that this is what the last redesign was getting at all the time. But then I'm a compulsive rewriter of history, so I probably wouldn't listen to a word of what I say.

Give it time to settle. There's a lot on the front page now, because I aim to be doing a lot of writing in the next couple of weeks, and months.

Today sponsored by:
The Fantastic Four trailer. I'm having Chris Evans' little jumpsuited babies.
Bits of paper with redesigns on them. I'm hardly Michelangelo. I did paint a ceiling once though.
Sleazy electropop goodness. I saw Goldfrapp's Black Cherry album described as "the year's best aphrodisiac", which made me laugh. Through my nose.