One cheek, or two?
This is a question of etiquette I’ve never quite managed to master - what is the correct way to say goodbye to people as an adult?
When we were children this was never a problem, the thought that there should be physical contact between you and your playmate was inconceivable - you just waved to them as their parents came and picked them up, it was all really simple.
But now, there are questions of etiquette and taste, and relationship and there are no hard a fast rules. Do you just wave and say goodbye, do you go in for the hug, or a kiss and if a kiss is it one or two?
And when did kissing on the cheek become de rigor? I know hugging is too personal for casual acquaintances but what happened to just waving and saying good bye? Would that just seem rude?
With people I’m on cheek kissing terms with, and this covers a wide range of people from closest friends to distant associates, but not everybody in between, some of whom I’m on hugging terms with and some waving, I told you this was complicated, I tend to stick to just one kiss, two seems unnecessary (apart from Tory P who insists on two because he is half French…errrm).
However saying goodbye to Boy’s partner in crime and his wife after a drink this week this policy came some what unstuck. Kiss on the cheek for her, kiss on the cheek for him and I turn to go, realising only by the out burst of laughter that followed that I’d left him hanging in the air, going in for the second kiss…ooops.
But how do you avoid this? Do you jokingly say at the start - ‘one kiss, or two’? But this surely takes away from the class of the kiss and reveals my ineptness? Do you take the lead from the other person? But I clearly failed to spot that this was going to be a two kiss situation - what are the signs? And what if they are just as confused as you? And how many times do you meet with someone before you start kissing cheeks to say goodbye? Once, twice, more? If once does that mean we just expected to kiss cheeks with everyone these days? And are you duty bound to the continental two kiss, when you are resolutely a one kiss girl?
So many questions! There should be lessons, or a guide book, or people should wear stickers - yellow for one kiss, red for two kisses, green for a hug that sort of thing - otherwise I’m just going to start waving good bye to y’all.
Today I was mainly
Modelling: the drowned rat look
Purchasing: the first season of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’
Drinking: Tall, caramel macchiatos…mmmm
October 2nd, 2006 at 2:11 pm
It is indeed a social minefield.
I kiss hello if I’ve seen someone fairly recently, or hug if it’s been a while — because kissing is quicker. I need to know someone quite well for this, otherwise they get waves or a handshake. This obviously only applies to girls and gay men. Straight men always get handshakes unless they are my very oldest friends or family.
But I’ve no idea how one decides at what point you moving from waving to handshaking, from handshakes to kiss and from kisses to hugs.